Even more exam answers

Seeing as today is results day I thought it was a prime opportunity to have the now annual look at some answers. Oh yeah sure, results are up and A* at A Level is possible, but let's not forget the candidates who maybe didn't work as hard they ought to have, the ones who didn't think through exactly what they were writing and the ones who maybe should have withdrawn altogether.

Just plain wrong
Wrong is as wrong does.

One thing they did was they grew bread more.

Yes, bread grows on trees. Just beside the money trees.

Knight of the Long Knives

Was he at the Round table?

By 1967 Hitler had managed to improve relations with nationalists.

From his hideout in Argentina?

Germany failed in the Battle of Britain because the RAF could fly over the Donegal Air Corridor.

I'm sure if you'd just thought about that sentence you would realise your error.

The Belfast Blitz left 100,000,000 homeless.

You got a bit 000 happy there I think.

Another party was set up, Sinn Fein. This was led by Rev Ian Paisley.

Never, never, never.

The legislative process refers to the Supreme Court.

Does it, does it really?

Operation Sea Lion was stopped because of the risk of being attacked by the RAF in the air.
Ah yes, attacks from the air, something the architect of Operation Sea Lion overlooked.

NI contributed because battleships could get repaired in Lough Erne.
Who was your Geography teacher? You should ask for a refund.

You don't say

You know what they say, make things abundantly clear to the examiner.

The president is the only person to have access to the nuclear weapon launch codes. A significant power in foreign policy.

Significant. I like how you think the possible end of the world would be 'significant'.

The lives of innocent people were lost which decreased the population.

I think that second part was a given.

They were able to help because it meant they could target Germany from different angles eg the sky, below sea level. Also because Germany wouldn't have been prepared for attack at these angles.

You'd have been better stopping after angles, then I might have thought you meant a war on two fronts.

At my primary school our first school rule was to do to others as you would like others to do to you.

And your point is?

Poetry corner

No extra marks for style.

Hitler and Hacha met up to discuss the future of Czechoslovakia. Hitler gave Hacha an ultimatum - give up Czechoslovakia or Prague would be bombed to the ground. It was such a beautiful city that Hacha fainted on the spot.

For he loved the baroque and gothic architecture?

The RUC outstayed their welcome, searching houses for weapons.

Yes, I'd say searching for weapons is no way to impress your host. It's just not dinner etiquette.

Hitler just marched into Austria and took it.

I like that you think it was actually Hitler doing the marching.

Internment was an epic fail.

Ok, so you know your exam is not like your Facebook status?

Judicial review was discovered in 1803.

Why, what's this I have stumbled upon? Well, look what we have here! It's judicial review!

If the President starts to be a bit odd he can be impeached.

Ah yes, they do swear in the oath not to be odd.

If an attack is imminent, civil liberties go out the window to protect homeland security.

Ah yes, the old out the window trick. It's the only place civil liberties ever seem to go.

Telling it like it is

Or maybe isn't.

Women were told their role was to be in the house 24/7, looking after children and satisfying the father (sexually included).

Some things are best left unsaid.

The essay is broad but due to time restrictions I will address 3 issues.

Ok, well you'd have more time if you didn't moan about the time restrictions. Just sayin'.

The population votes for the President. They trust his decisions.

Someone should tell those Tea Party people.

One judge showed himself to be a swinger.

Oh did he indeed? I'm surprised Fox weren't on to him sooner.

In amongst these, there were two that really took me to the fair (and with exam marking you'll already know that you're half way there). Following on from last year's 'some critic's argue' The Repeat Repeat Award goes to the person that wrote 18 sentences beginning with 'Hitler...' You name it, they had a verb following it. Quite a feat in a two sided answer.

The other one that nearly destroyed me was one I tweeted about. It was a girl, oh yes definitely a girl who answered every question out of order. She did each of the four (completely different topics) longer questions first, then she did the mid-length questions of the four, and then finished with the short ones. And she didn't leave a line in between any question! So not only did I have to hunt all the way through her paper to find the answer I wanted to mark, the beginning and end weren't easily distinguishable and there was no room to annotate her answer. Of course if she hadn't wasted so much time drawing circles above each i for a dot I might have been more understanding. My annoyance was summed up in this tweet:

'No one thinks it's cute to circle your i dots ok. I think you're stupid, and I'm marking your GCSE paper. How do you like them apples?!'

My reaction, of course, could have been exaggerated because it was 2.00am in the morning. I know, don't examiners have it rough?