The pink bottle is dead. Long live the pink bottle!

It's the end of an era over here in Princess world. I have retired my pink Nalgene bottle. Please, no flowers.

Honestly, my pink bottle has more air miles than most people I know. I got it in a shop (a mercantile, if you will) in Hicksville, just a day or two before I went to Korea for the Conference. It came with me. It came it home and then to Singapore. It lived beside my computer in my classroom and travelled daily to the staffroom for refilling. It's been around the world (aye aye aye...), been in more meetings that it would care to remember, and last week it was in Serbia on its last mission in keeping me hydrated.

But the time has come to put it into retirement. I'm a little bit sad about it, so many memories and good times we've had together. It was still going and still so strong.  But alas, it is not BPA free. That's a bad thing, they say.

So I got a new one. In exactly the same shop I got my last one. It proudly displays its BPA free-nees. Hurrah and huzzah.

There wasn't a coronation or anything, but all hail the new pink bottle.

I like using a refillable water bottle. It makes me feel like I'm saving the world. Plus I save money. If Coke, or that Tesco Tropical Juice that I'm so partial to, came out of the tap for (close to) free, would I buy it? Heck no.

This is my blog; I can say what I like (so long as it's legal), so I'm just going to come out and say it: buying bottled water is ridiculous. Bottled water uses two of the earth's most precious resources, oil and water, creates CO2 emissions in the delivery and most of the bottles end up in land refill sites. Yet, in the vast majority of cases, we have clean, safe drinking water at our disposal. How many people in the world don't have that luxury? So many that 'luxury' is the right word to use here. 

But we buy bottled water because we've been marketed to. We've bought into the myth that drinking bottled water is better, cleaner, healthier and heck, even cooler.

I know, rant, rant. But really look into some of the facts for yourself. Try here, here, or here. Or use the mighty power of the interwebs for yourself.

And why not get yourself a reusable bottle? BPA free, of course.

Knowing your limits

Two years ago I wrote a blog about running for Sport Relief. This year I decided to do sign up again and so I'm writing a blog about it again. Although last time I ran three miles, and this year I'm running six. Mostly because (if you clicked back you'll see) I chickened out of six last time. In fact, now that I think about it, that's the only reason.

You see, ever since I saw the ortho doctor last October, I treasure any day when I don't dislocate my knee as miracle. The conversation went something like this:

Doctor: Hmmm....(on honkers five feet opposite so he's looking at my knees at eye level) Have you ever dislocated your knee?
Me:  (Standing with my trackies pulled up into shorts) Dislocated it?! (Surprised at the suggestion) No.
Doctor: Hmmm... (and not a good sounding 'hmmm') Are you sure you've never dislocated your knee?
Me: Yeah...no, why?
Doctor: Really? (Raises eyebrows)
Me: Well, never knowingly anyway.
Doctor: Oh you'd know. But you've really never dislocated it?
Me: No.

At this point in the movie of my life, there'll be a daydream sequence where I will be some sort of medical marvel. People come from far and wide to stand amazed at the never-dislocated knee. There'll be spinning front covers of my knee on the British Medical Journal, Scientific American, TIME, Newsweek, The Economist, Hello, OK and a host of foreign magazines, you know, to add to the worldwide wonder of my knee.

So six miles is most definitely my limit. I know a few people running the marathon this year. And well done to them! But see, I would also like to be able to still use my knees in 5 years.

Now here's the bit where you come in...

Like I said before, it'd be silly of me not to mention it on here because if you'd like to sponsor me I'd very much like that! I know Sport Relief is a huge charity and will raise literally millions through their very prominent night of prime time broadcasting, and other charities need the support of marathon runners etc to raise their money.

But this is your friend Tina and she's running a distance she's not entirely sure she'll complete and she's holding a small, figurative bucket for charity while she does it.

So if you'd like to sponsor me, you can do it here: http://my.sportrelief.com/sponsor/tinaarena

Thanks, I really appreciate it.

Meat free January

Happy new 2012 to you! Fresh from my recent spate of blogging, I thought I'd open my 2012 account with one on the first day to explain why I'm going meat free in January.

It was an idea planted by one of my friends at the European thing I went to in May. Liv is vegetarian and challenged us at the end of the conference to have a vegetarian day at the conference. She pointed to the environmental impact meat production has on the world as reason enough to do it for one day in the week long conference. (You can do your own internet searching on this. I did and there's a load. Here's one called 'Veguary' (think a vegetarian Movember in February) which sums it up quite well here, although the stats are US based. In short though, it seems to me not to be a bad thing to cut down on meat eating. Just like it's not a bad thing to cut down your bottled water consumption when you have a tap with perfectly clean, safe water.) Anyway, it was a very short point Liv made, but she persuaded me and I hoped at the next conference we have vegetarian day.

Cut to a few months later and I found my old diary. I had once tried to be a vegetarian (20th October 1990, fact fans). "Huh. I never really did that."

Then I saw Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall on The One Show. He was on to promote his vegetarian cookbook. No big deal, not really interested. But then he said in research for writing the book he became a temporary vegetarian, I think for three months. "Oh. A temporary vegetarian". (In the movie of my life this will part will have a montage of flashbacks to the earlier incidents.)

Now, here's the important bit, I still might not have done anything about it until I was out for dinner later that week with Karen Photographer for her gallery opening. I mentioned what I had seen on The One Show and Karen decided to join me in a month-long vegetarian adventure (Karen will have her own reasons for the challenge, I think mostly she likes a challenge - see marathon).

As it was already into November, we'd kind of missed the boat on that month, and December is just a crazy month to try to go cold turkey, so to speak. January has the new start feel to it and would give us time to research a little bit about what we need to do.

So that's it really.

Last week Karen and I renewed our pact to do it with a high five. That made it official, cos we're a bit street. And I've marked recipes from my cookbooks and gone to the brilliant BBC Food website. I see that herbs and spices are going to be important. Well vegetables can be a bit boring, can't they? And I'll need to keep myself in fresh vegetables and eat a lot of beans and what not to keep my protein levels up. But I'm happy to report 18 hours in, things are going swimmingly. Mostly because I'm a bit sick and haven't tried to eat anything substantial, but it's nonetheless encouraging.

I wouldn't have tried to do it without any one of those four things: Liv, my old diary, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and Karen (although if I had to grade them, my diary is probably the least important and Liv and Karen the most).

I'll probably put some stuff on here about it, but we'll also be tweeting our vegetarian adventure at #meatfreejanuary. We're not private on there, but if you have an account you can tweet us encouragement. Or try to make us feel better if we succumb to a big dirty burger or a fry, or some ribs. Or a Chinese...

I need to get me some butternut squash or something. Quick.

Sports (Male) Personality

Dear Sportspeople of the female gender,

The first thing I noticed about this year's BBC Sports Personality of the Year award nominees was that none of 'your kind' had made the list. 'Huh', I thought to myself and then I began to wonder who should have been nominated instead of all these men.

After a second I realised Jess Ennis should have been, but her silver medal at the World Championships was probably a bit of a disappointment to these fine people who nominate the shortlist. Afterall, she got gold in 2009 and could only manage third in the public vote. Last year, when she won the European Championships with a personal best, again she was third. So yes, second in the world is a bit of a disappointment and let's face it Jess, you're not going to make any improvement on your third places with that. But wait now. Wasn't Andy Murray also second in the Australian Open? Well still, he won Wimbledon so that's probably ok then. Oh no, wait, I just remembered that he went out in the semi-finals...again.

Then there's Rebecca Adlington. She's always winning things. And yup, in 2011, there she was winning a world title, casual as you like. Although, I say that, it was anything but casual. Adlington was 0.65s behind Friis (in first place) at the bell, she turned it round in the last 100m to win by 0.69s. And let's not forget, this was the 800m; the rest of the competitors came in 5-15s later, just to highlight further the fight she had on her hands. I should make mention of her silver medal in the 400m too.

But again, though in this award, you women shouldn't expect too much. In 2008, when Adlington won two, two gold medals at the Olympics, she came third. Nevermind Adlington's medals were the first Olympic golds any British woman had won in the pool since 1960 - before Gary Lineker was even born. She was third to some fine sportspeople though. Chris Hoy won. Well three golds is more than two golds. Fair enough.

Lewis Hamilton was second that year, and oh my, how those Formula One drivers have had to wait to be recognised. Not since 1896 has a Formula One driver won SPOTY. Sorry, I meant 1996. There were no cars in 1896, silly. In fact, Formula 1 personalities have only won SPOTY six times. Out of a whopping 57 times it's been awarded. Why, that's less than half the number of times a woman across all sports have won it (12.5 awards to women, Jane Torvill having the 0.5 award when she won with Christopher Dean.) So poor old Formula One. Although, comparing the winners of the Driver's Championships with the placings of the SPOTY, it does seem to guarantee that you'll at least place. Jenson Button, Lewis Hamilton, and James Hunt all placed while Damon Hill (twice), Nigel Mansell (twice), Jackie Stewart, and Stirling Moss won it. See women if you were to get a bit more involved in Formula 1, then you'd be sorted and there'd be none of this complaining nonsense.

A few people have mentioned that Chrissie Wellington should have been nominated. Truthfully? I've never heard of her before. Which is remarkable because apparently she has won four Ironman Triathalon World Championships, you know the one where you swim forever, cycle forever and then do a marathon? Yeah, that. She's won that four times! Quite the achievement, eh?! Why have I not heard of her before? Still Chrissie, take heart. Look at poor Phil 'The Power' Taylor. He had to win the PDC World Championship (you know the one half the darts players play in?) 13 times before he got second place last year at SPOTY. Ah now, Chrissie, let's not go down the line of saying darts isn't a real sport. It's throwing. And walking. And darts players are well known for needing emergency rehydration...at the bar.

I do have a vague memory of Kath Grainger winning something this year too. Although I can't quite remember what it was exactly. Sorry, I was busy in the roof space during the highlights of the rowing World Championships and couldn't make it out. But can you blame me? Men's sport is built up to be event television. Women's sport is...well, something to put on the red button. Look at how the Football World Cup was shown this year. Yes, this year, not 2010. Sorry, did I not say the Women's World Cup? I should have been more specific. Anyway, there it was on the red button - until the English team made it to the quarterfinals. Now, come on, don't be silly, it wasn't quite as simple as just getting to the quarterfinals to get on regular television. Oh no, what's women's sports mainstream coverage without a bit of last minute letters from politicians to campaign beforehand? Apparently, the reason why it couldn't be scheduled to be on BBC2 before was because of those pesky male golfers and their British Open were on BBC1. Oh you're right, the BBC does have two mainstream terrestial channels, but who wants sport on both of them? Especially so soon after Wimbledon and all its simultaneous BBC1, BBC2 and red button coverage.

Sadly, the team got beaten on penalties. Imagine if they'd won; they might have been in with a shout of the Team of the Year at the awards. I say might, because it seems women's teams have only ever one once, the 1969 4x400m relay team. And they had to share it. Well, it was a Ryder Cup Year. Reading the Wikipedia entry for the Ryder Cup that year though, you'd wonder why. It was marred by unsports...person like behaviour from both sides. And it was tied so the USA actually retained the Cup. So that's why I say the footballers might have won. It seems that men's teams can win Team of the Year, by not even winning their competition outright, and can be unsporting in doing so.

The important thing here, British Sportswomen, is not to panic. It's not like there's any different treatment for international sportswomen, for they have only managed to win Overseas Personality of the Year six times, out of 51 times it's been awarded. That said, I'm pretty sure that wasn't the equality you were after.

But see, the really difficult thing, girls, is that's it's the Sports Personality of the Year; you need to capture, not only the public's imagination, but as we're learning, also the sports editors and journalists from papers around the country. If only you had some interesting stories which they could tell and then we could read in order to capture our imagination. Like Darren Clarke, he's nominated this year. He'd never won a major before, but aged 42 he did! Of course, many of us remember the terrible tragedy of him losing his wife to cancer in 2006. Yet, he helped Europe to a famous victory in the Ryder Cup just a few weeks later. An awful story like that can't be compared with another, of course. But if all things were equal, SPOTY recognition would surely be coming Sarah Stevenson's way. She won a gold medal in the Taekwondo World Championships in May while both her parents were in the last grips of terminal cancer. Sadly, she lost both of them within months of each other. Wow. Talk about mental strength. I hope you can win gold next year at the Olympics Sarah, when no doubt you'll get lots more coverage. 

Gary Lineker said on The One Show when the ten nominees for SPOTY were announced, "Perhaps not been a strong year in women's sport for British women...let's hope that'll change next year with the Olympics." But you see sportwomen, I beg to differ with Sir Gary. I’d change his words to "Perhaps not been a strong year in women's sport coverage for British women...that will change next year with the Olympics." We know that on previous Olympics years it has changed. Maybe not enough to win the award, but enough to be recognised. Thank goodness they don't have separate medals tables, one for the men and one for the women, eh?

So keep doing what you’re doing. Keep being brilliant, keep winning, keep fighting. Some time, somehow, the press and the media will actually give you widespread coverage in non-Olympic years.

Yours,

Tina

______________________

Dear BBC,

I love you. You know I do. But maybe Gary shouldn’t have been so quick to blame the newspapers for the nominations. Perhaps look to the coverage you provide of women in sport yourself. Yes, I'm thinking of the red button here. It's good, but it's not great.

And maybe, as a separate issue, you could expand the list of who is asked to nominate to be more, I don't know, inclusive. Just a thought.

Warm regards,

Tina

______________________

Dear Daily Post, Daily Star Sunday, Evening Standard, The Independent, Irish News, Metro, Nuts, The People and Western Mail and Zoo

You suck. Sorry to be blunt. But if you're in the business of sports reporting and can't see how female sports performances and achievements are worthy of reporting and how they've captured the public's imagination, then it needs to be said, out loud and to your face. So again I say: You suck.

Please do better in future. Assuming you're asked again of course.

Thanks in advance,

Tina

______________________

Dear Alex Chick,

Footballers were again snubbed? Get in line.

You remind me of a great CJ quote in The West Wing:

Sam: Where'd you get the bathrobe?
Carol: The gym.
Sam: There are bathrobes at the gym?
CJ: In the women's locker room.
Sam: But not the men's.
CJ: Yeah.
Sam: Now, that's outrageous. There's a thousand men working here and 50 women.
CJ: Yeah, and it's the *bathrobes* that's outrageous.


Oh, wait. Did you mean women footballers were snubbed in the year of a decent performance at the World Cup? Yeah, that is ridiculous.

Yours in blogging,

Tina


______________________


Here's a great article with some stats about coverage, sponsorship and number female sports journalists. Even if you don't read it, this is worth knowing: women's sports coverage makes up just 5% of all sports media. In a good year.

Compare and contrast Children in Need with Comic Relief

A few years ago I wrote a blog about how I didn't really like Children in Need. I watched it last night. I know, I know, I've changed. But so have they; they've changed it since I wrote that. They've dropped a lot of the local element from it. Instead of cross overs to the regions with what I (accurately) described in 2005, you get a (relentless) ticker across the bottom of the screen telling you of local schools and community groups' fundraising efforts with the odd pre-recorded film specific to NI.

As I watched last night I began to think though the ways in which Children in Need and Comic Relief differ, now that the BBC regions have been reigned in. While there's a lot of similarities between the two, there's no doubt that Comic Relief is much more edgy, both in terms of the appeal films and the content of the entertainment. This edginess definitely gives it a cooler feel. Is that related to how much each night typically raises? Up until last night's record £26 million, Children in Need never really broke the £20 million on the night barrier. Comic Relief typically raises £50-60 million on the night. This year it was £74 million.

Another big difference is Comic Relief focus on Africa as well as the UK. Maybe the totals raised means we're still shocked at the starvation, illness and poverty that exists in the world today? I hope so.

Given these changes, I set to and created a handy guide to the differences and similarities between the two charities (including the Comic Relief spin-off, Sport Relief). I did it in the style of a wordle, with the larger the type meaning the more importance/greater emphasis/association it has on/with the night. The colours mean nowt, but they do make it pretty.

Of course, when you're talking differences then there's perhaps none bigger than the Wogan factor. Last night he seemed to have a dose of the Brucies. You know, not quite knowing where he was, scripted jokes, not knowing how to read the autocue, talking over Tess, that kind of thing. Still, you can't imagine it without him. Although we said that about the Eurovision too and Graham Norton is so fantastic on it I barely miss Wogan.

If you do miss the more cringy aspects of Children in Need, given their new output, please enjoy these videos from yesteryear.

(Please be warned the song will be stuck in your head all the flipping live long day, like it's stuck in mine.)

Not dissimilar to Gareth Malone's choir last night. Although they sang Avril Lavigne (or Avrille Le Vine if you're Terry - see here at 2:40.45. I thought Fearne did very well not to show laughter in her face.)

I don't even know how to explain this next one. It's from the opening of the 1992 show. It nearly hurts to watch it.

My original bucket list

Tonight during the big tidy up I found my original bucket list. I wrote it coming home on the bus from Derry during my undergrad. I can remember doing it quite clearly. Well I say that, I can't actually remember when I wrote it during those three years. Some of the things make me think I wrote it after working in summer camp in 2001, or maybe after TOM in 2002, but by then I had done some of the things on the list, so I'm not sure. Unless I did it in an add-it-to-my-to-do-list-and-tick-it-off-because-I've-already-done-it kind of way. Oh come on, I'm not the only person does that, right?!

But I do remember coming into Belfast along the M2, you the bit that swoops down (I think it might be called Greencastle) and finishing it off. So 'clearly' is defined as 'sketchy on some details' for the purposes of this post.

Of course, I didn't know it was called a bucket list back when I wrote it. I went with the much duller but, I like to think, adequately descriptive 'things I want to do'. I don't know when I last had it, but I had ticked some things off and it was nice tonight to see what else I had done.

So let's review, shall we?

- Live and work in another country. Check. (I might have mentioned it on here.)
- Travel around the world. Check. (See above.)
- Ride on an elephant. Check. (I don't know why this was an ambition. Nice to say I've done it now though.)
- Go to Disney World. (I'm pretty sure I mean the FL one. Not that I've been to the Paris one for that matter.)
- Walk on Sydney Harbour Bridge. Check. (That was a long held ambition of mine.)
- Paint a picture. (I know I mean a nice one, that you could put up in the house - other than the fridge door.)
- Paddle in Lake Ontario. (This puts it after camp, for it is my missing Great Lake.)
- See a giraffe. (Pretty sure I mean in the wild as opposed to the zoo.)
- Visit the Taj Mahal. (Not sure why, just 'cause.)
- Go to the Great Wall of China. (Probably because you can 'see' it from space.)
- St. Petersberg. (Always liked a bit of Russian history, me.)
- Hong Kong. Check. (The handover in 1997 fascinated me.)
- Robbin Island. (I once did a project on Nelson Mandela in school.)
- Mount Everest. (It's like I'd seen the film. Fairly sure I had no plans on climbing it, just wanted to say I'd seen it.)
- Rio de Janeiro. Check. (It was the big Jesus I wanted to see.)
- See the White House. Check. (Did this in 2001 and thus immediately checked off?)
- See Niagara Falls. Check. (Went in 2002. Still have the Maid of Mist poncho. Naturally.)
- Make a pot on a wheel. (I think this one got added in because most of the things were travel-based.)

I'm sure there's things I'd like to add to it. A few years ago Karen Marathon wrote a really great list of 57 things she'd like to do and I'd definitely nick a few of hers. Like climbing Kilimanjaro, not looking at the time for an entire day or cooking a Sunday roast (my cooking is definitely improving although not at a roast stage yet).

That said, (circa) ten years later I'm 8/18 my original list. Not too bad, not too bad at all. Shame most of the other things require a serious amount of money or I'd be right on to them.

Might get out my watercolours tomorrow though. Chalk another one off.

Methodist Newsletters of yesteryear (Part 1)

I don't know what you know about what I was writing my dissertation on so I'll tell you. I had two options. One involved looking at Irish migration to North Carolina. But that might have been hard to do and I might have had to travel to NC, which I would not have minded one bit of course, but it would have dented the old finances somewhat. My other option was to do something on the Methodist Church and the political situation in Northern Ireland. A trip to the Methodist Historical Society is way cheaper than flights to NC. Although this depends on where you're coming from, I suppose.

Despite an earnest start, it took a while for me to get into it if I'm honest. Like I most students I left it to the last few months to really kick into gear. I had two big turning points and one was talking to someone very smart about Methodist history and the other was going to the Methodist Historical Society.

I ended up going there a lot. Well, when you're in the business of researching Methodist History then they're the ticket. In fact, I ended up joining. In fact, and I say this proudly, I have it on good authority I am their youngest member! Stephen McC (Dublin) has threatened to join and he would beat me by a few years, but until I see him with a membership card then I shan't believe him.

Technically speaking you don't get a membership card. You get a receipt. I might get mine laminated instead.

And you also get lots of reading material too!

I know the Methodist Historical Society gets a few rolls of the eyes and some people don't think it's...well they don't seem to like it. I think it's the lock of Wesley's hair that does it. It's hard to get excited about about a lock of hair but easy to mock those that do. But I will come out and say I am a fan of the Methodist Historical Society.

[I may not have been allowed to take these photos, so incase I get ejected from it, let's not tell them ok? In my defence, it was just my phone, no flash.]

Well, I could probably do without the busts of Wesley if I'm honest.

And these things.

And I'm not so much about the mug collection.

But the stories? Tell me the stories about the Church, tell me about the people, tell me about how we got to here and then I'm in! Furthermore, I think the way we have treated our history, heritage and artefacts is nothing short of shameful.

So if it's the stories you want to read, then there's still no place better than the Methodist Historical Society. They have the full set of Methodist periodicals - the Christian Advocate, the Irish Christian Advocate, the Methodist Newsletter. They have the Minutes of Conference, they have the Blue Book, they have it all!

I spent full days reading the newspapers and Newsletters. More from the 1960s onwards, but some of the earlier stuff too. Fascinating stuff! Like did you know they used to have Scouts on duty during Conference? Nope, me neither. The number of times I got totally sidetracked reading an article which was completely unrelated to my research...well that's why it took me so long to get started.

I found myself reading all sorts of stuff and I became familiar with the names of people. So much so that when I was a few years on and got to someone's obituary that I had once been President or something, I was genuinely shocked and sad. It was typical for my brain to say 'Aww, no! Did he die?!' Yeah, Tina, of course he did, he was born in 1885.

Of course, I did get a good laugh at some of the headlines too, like 'New kitchen in Trillick' (I promise, a genuine headline). I learned very quickly that if you're going to have a Methodist based cliche in your article, it needs to involve one of three things. I'll count them down, top ten stylee:

In at number three, hearts being strangely warmed. We like to refer to warm hearts. Allows us prove that we've Methodist blood pumping round our system.

A climber at two, 'And are we yet alive?' This is a big hit with Conference members, which is odd, because for me it could be renamed 'And have we yet found a tune?' but whatevs. No conference report is complete without emphatically answering this question. (The answer is yes, by the way. Unless it's a deep, soul-searching article in which case you ask some hard questions and restate the question at the end to really make the reader think.)

But at the top, it's a non-mover, 'Friends of all'. There is no limit to the situations we can use this phrase. Mission at home, mission overseas, ecumenical relations...if it involves people and the slightest modicum of tension us friendly Methodists are there! Heck, even I used it in the title of my dissertation. You've got to, it's the law.

The best things though about reading all these were the adverts and the photos. In the Christian Advocate and the Irish Christian Advocate it was the adverts. I took a sneaky selection for you, all from 1893.

I vote for more adverts of umbrella emporiums in the Methodist Newsletter. In fact I vote for more umbrella emporiums all round.

Yes, that is 'marvel' and 'tea pot' in the same sentence. Ah 1893 technology!

'Stories from the Indian Wigwams and Northern Camp Fires'. Book reviews sure were different.

You know, up to this point I had never given my liver's performance any consideration whatsoever. How would one know if it is 'sluggish'?

'Indigestion upsets the entire system, makes you cross, miserable, and you are sometimes unable to speak a kind word to anyone.' Isn't that just being cranky? And why would some Brandreth's sugar coated pills help this situation?

Conference was a big deal back in 1893. Although much like today, you had to prepare for it.

By donning your top hat and special cloths clerical wear, 'warranted not to glaze with wear'! Ah, if only they could see us now!

The Irish Christian Advocate offices were destroyed by a bomb in 1972 and it never recovered. Which is sad, because the detail its weekly publication covered is immense. But fear not! The Newsletter was born!

4p? Bar-gain! Success was on its way - 'occasional' soon became monthly.

Well fancy that! Around and About used to be at the back of the Newsletter.

There weren't any photos in this style of Methodist Newsletter and the only colour was at the name. Things changed with the Czechoslovakian Farmers' Gazette format (you know, big sheets, crap print, black and white dotty photos) which ran from, like, 1982 to 1996. And I began to get more distracted by the things I was seeing.

Like this. There was actually a 'Caravan Accommodation Co-Ordinator' at Castlewellan? Seriously? Like, I know it was way smaller, but that job has got nightmare written all over it.

And this I reckon is the first ever Bobby Morrison advert in 1988. He love us long time! No sister staple ad for the Florida apartment in this edition though. Johnny-Come-Lately.

But like I said, there were photos too. And they're what really distracted me...

Coalition

I'm coming out of this mini blogging break (I know, just call me Stephen Fry) because it seems like on a day when your government changes you should. Three years ago I watched as the helicopter followed the Prime Minister as he made his way to resign to HRH. Today I watched it again (but this time on the glorious BBC).

Poor old Gordon eh? I always remember the joke Ian Hislop made, maybe about a year after he became PM, that it was terrible to have waited all your life for your dream job only to discover you're crap at it. I hope history is kinder to him than the media have been.

I think tonight he showed a lot of dignity. And in the last few days of the election he showed way more passion than I'd ever seen in him. And fair play to him for keeping his children out of it all, because I'd say they could have won a votes by themselves.

It looks like there's going to be interesting times ahead. For me it's starting on a positive note - I've always liked the name David.

But you still better handle us with care.

Volcanoes were one of the few things I understood in Geography

Did anyone see this coming? I mean, anyone? I for one have never heard that planes can't fly through volcano ash. I mean they can fly through thunderstorms where lightning can actually hit a plane and nothing. No big deal. But apparently a bit of volcano ash can bring the whole thing down. Who knew? Yes, ok, air traffic people and airplane people. But what ordinary, non-geek knew that?

At the start it was all a bit of a lark, but now, with no real end in sight, it's just annoying for everyone trying to get somewhere. You kind of forget how reliant we are on planes. And it's everyone that's affected. Even me. I'm not trying to go anywhere, and I'm not stuck anywhere. But my Time magazine, my much loved Saturday morning read, did not arrive today. Sure, some would argue it's not quite being stuck in an airport with no money, no bed and no idea when you'll get out, but I like to think I took one for the team too this morning.

This BBC article tells of the areas affected and it mentions how Obama has had to cancel the trip to Poland and Merkel had to get a bus from Italy back to Germany. But then it just throws in the fact that Whitney Houston had to get the ferry from Britain to Ireland. Hilarious.

You can just see her running up the stairs to try to get a good seat, one with a clean window and chewing gum not worked in to the upholstery. Having to listen to where her nearest muster station is. Then going for a walk out on deck with her big Hollywood oversized sunglasses. Then going to the shop to get a deal on some perfum. Or a big bag of M&Ms, then discovering that they have all the colours in them, not just the brown ones as is per her rider.

Oh come on, who doesn't love a Whitney Houston/ferry joke once in a while?!

You're the best around

I signed up to run the Sport Relief mile. Actually I'm doing three. I really should have pushed myself to do six, but I wussed out in the end. So three it is. I wasn't intending to really try to get sponsorship, I just wanted to run it.

But maybe you haven't donated money through all the various texting options they're plugging all the time? Or maybe you don't really care about Fearne Cotton et al doing whatever and maybe you do care about me running? I don't know, but it'd be silly of me not to say something, because maybe, just maybe you would throw a couple of quid in the Sport Relief bucket I'm carrying (not literally you understand).

So if you'd like to sponsor me, it's http://www.mysportrelief.com/tinaruns.

I haven't set the highest of goals, but it'd still be cool to reach it. And yes, I did sponsor myself. Leading where others will follow, I hope.

Which, ironically, will be the opposite to Sunday.

Oh Iris

Well there you have it. When you thought NI politics couldn't get any more...surprising? hypocritical? embarrassing? It has emerged that the woman who called gay people an abomination had an affair with another man. There she was flinging names about, calling homosexuality worse than child abuse, and quoting the Bible at people, while it seems just a few months later she was going against numero 7 in Moses' big list of 'things we shouldn't ever do'. It is kind of hard not to smile, even just a little bit.

And there was Peter, sitting in his v-neck sweater, in front of a 'best dad ever' sign (or words to that effect) looking every bit the Grimm brother, but for all the wrong reasons, saying he'd forgiven his wife and that they were trying to work through their problems.

Boom. The smile went right from my face (eh...assuming it was there in the first place).

You see, I don't get to look on her, no matter what I think of her, and laugh. Or judge. It's something about casting the first stone. And yes, maybe that's something Iris should have thought about before she said what she said about gay people. But maybe it's not helpful to point that out. In her statement, Iris said she had asked for forgiveness from God and that's for her to do. Nothing to do with me.

But tonight I was reminded that He is the God of second chances, of fourteenth chances, of fourteenth hundred chances. And that no matter how dark the hour, God hearts me. And you.

Our tomorrow

I'm sure like a lot of people's families yours has people who were in the services. Mine does. My mum's dad was in the Merchant Navy so they always get a big cheer during Remembrance Day. My dad'd dad, Grandpa, was a parachuter in the airborne division. He landed in Normandy six days after D-Day and fought at the Battle of Arnhem. Even though he lived with us for over ten years he didn't really talk about it to me. About all I know of his experiences from the war is that he was fed carrots all the way through it. He was so sick of them by the end of the war he refused to eat them afterwards. Pretty good reason I suppose.

Both my grandfathers made it through the Second World War. During the First World War my mum's grandfather wasn't so lucky.

This is him, James Atkinson. Is it just me or does he remind you slightly of my mum?

One of our family treasures are the letters that the nurse on his ward wrote home after he was hospitalised from a gas attack. The first one was written just two days after the gas attack.

No. 1 Canadian General Hospital

6-8-17

Dear Mrs. Atkinson,

Your husband Rflm. J. Atkinson, was admitted into my ward on the 4th suffering with gas shell poisoning. As this gas effects his eyes I am writing for him. He says he hopes you are all well, and for you not to be too anxious about him. He hopes to be able to write in a few days himself.

Yours sincerely,

E. B. Burpee N.S.

Despite this brave face, thing were clearly not good. On the other side of the letter the nurse wrote this extra note:

P.S.

I am sorry to have to add this note. I read the front page of this letter to my patient but he does not know that we consider him “seriously ill”. The poisoning has affected his lungs and throat and the medical officers are most anxious about.

I hope to write better news within a day or two.

Sincerely

E. B. Burpee

Sister

Just a day later she wrote again. Things were bad.

No. 1 Canadian General Hospital

7-8-17

Dear Mrs. Atkinson:-

We are very anxious about your husband’s condition. He is not too well, as when I last wrote to you. He has developed and very purulent form of pneumonia and his throat condition is not improving. We are giving him our best care, have moved him into a room by himself, where he can get more fresh air, than in the ward.

If you have received permission to visit him from the War Office I would advise you to come immediately. He is really dangerously ill and the next few days are going to be a great test to his strength.

Hoping I may have better news to write tomorrow. This gas poisoning is terrible.

With much sympathy to you during these anxious hours.

Most sincerely yours,

Eleanor B. Burpee

Sister

Then a day later she wrote again with the terrible news.

No. 1 Canadian General Hospital

8-8-17

Dear Mrs. Atkinson:-

It is with sincere sympathy I am writing to you to tell you of the death of your husband Rflm. J. Atkinson. He died this morning at 5.30. The night Sister reports that he was quite delirious during the night. During yesterday afternoon, a Sister sat beside him to give him his oxygen, medicines etc. During the night he had a special Orderly. He had an idea that you had been with him during the day. Repeatedly during the night he told the Orderly that you had been sitting beside him and he wanted the orderly to call you back.

He was a very dear patient and we were so sorry we could not save him. Sister said he began to get weaker after 3 and although the Medical Officer was was with him they could not get any response to their treatment.

I am quite sure he did not realize how very ill he was. His personal effects will be sent to you, through the War Office.

Yours with much sympathy

Eleanor B. Burpee

N.S.

And so that was it. My great-grandmother was left on her own to bring up my grandmother, who was just eighteen months old. The sad thing is we know she wasn't alone.

I hate that the quote is attributed to Stalin, but the death of one man is a tragedy, the death of millions is a statistic really is true.

Today and this week, let's remember the many tragedies of war, not the statistics.