Something I definitely won't miss

I just heard that it's Children in Need night. I will not miss that at all. I hate it. BBC NI make it rubbish for us.

'Coming up in 15 minutes Robbie Williams and Justin Timberlake perform a duet of the Queen classic 'We Will Rock You' but before that here's some ex-Neighbours cast members performing great scenes of the show, all for your donations'. And you think to yourself, 'oh class, I have got to see that!'.

But crappy BBC NI cuts away from the London studio to go to Strabane Leisure Centre to show Hugo Duncan dressed as a women with some more men dressed as women but holding a big charity cheque for £183.36 they got for sitting in a bath of beans for 3 hours.

Then you get Hugo wandering around the Leisure Centre for 5 minutes seeing who else raised money and how. Lots of NI people cheering and shouting on camera. Great.

Then when you think it might go back to London we are instead taken back to Belfast to watch Sean Rafferty, Noel Thompson, Jackie Fullerton and in a cross channel move, Gerry Kelly dance to The Full Monty. Oh please.

This is followed by a trip to Ballymena Leisure Centre to see an Outside Broadcast where there's no sound, but we can see a man fire eating in the car park.

Back to Belfast to be subjected to Donna Traynor, Rose Neill, Angie from the weather, and just because we are that unlucky - May McFetridge performing to 'Lollipop Lollipop'.

When they are done, Gerry Anderson tells us that they've fixed the problem in Ballymena and we now watch Bill fire eat again but with sound.

When we do finally make it back to London all you see is Terry Wogan carry a bucket collecting from the audience and talking about what a classic television moment Robbie and Justin's performance was. And to add insult to injury, we've also missed the Neighbours thing.

Nope, I will not miss Children in Need at all. Not even a tiny little bit.