Christmas activities

New Year's Eve. Ugh. Not only is Christmas over, it's followed by the most hyped two days of all. We've had a good Christmas, lots of reading (Michael Johnson's book, Gold Rush, and Bill Bryson's Troublesome Words, which made me never want to write again - I make so many mistakes), gaming (see below) and television watching. Right now I'm watching Who Do You Think You Are? Actually this one is called Who Do You Think You Are UK? because I recorded it from RTE (southerners say 'Who d'ya think ye aar? but OarTE. I know, you enjoy my deep observations on life.)

I was happy to chance upon it earlier this week because it's the one I saw being filmed on my way home from work one day. I blogged about it here. It was being made in the autumn of 2006, and depending how well you know/remember the life of Tina, I was away in Singapore 2007 so missed it's transmission. I had looked on repeats on BBC and on Yesterday or whatever channel they appear on, but then chanced upon it this week on RTE! Delighted, I was!

As I watched the opening credits I was a bit confused because there, staring off into the distance in front of some barn/battlefield/workhouse, were celebrities whose programmes I'd seen, like Chris Moyles and Kim Cattrall. Had I actually been back and missed it? Nope, the opening moments of the programme told me OarTE had repackaged the programme, with some Irish accented man narrating. So they must have picked out the 'best' ones too. I still checked the website to be doubley sure. Sure enough, Graham's was broadcast in October 2007. Yeeeoooo.

And sure enough when I watched the programme I saw the bit I saw being filmed.

My original photograph. My phone camera didn't have zoom. But it's him.

As I think this photo from the programme shows.

I forgot when I blogged about it first time of the Graham H connection and how if I had gone to get him he could have met his namesake. I speculated at the time that this might have made the cut. Well, a funny exchange with a passer-by did so, I'm going to say, for sure I could have been on TV.

"They seem nice..."

In other Christmas activity news, we finished our jigsaw. Like I might have mentioned before we're a jigsawing kind of family. Or as I've typed each time (and then corrected) jogsaw. Our jogsaw (I'm just going to leave it) of choice this Christmas was this olde worlde shopping from the 1950s.

It doesn't look too bad, there's lots of distinctive pieces, but that's exactly the problem - they're all distinctive pieces.

When the box arrived we put it under the tree, alongside the tin of Roses (a tree just looks better with a tin of Roses underneath. You can keep your Quality Street.) Anyway, it was all looking lovely. And then Christmas Eve came when I wrapped my presents and put them under the tree.

"But oh no, what this? Oh the jogsaw box. I'll move it to make room....presents, presents, presents...I'll carry them across..."

Crunch!

I stood on the box. Not only was there a massive Tina sized foot dent, the box even ripped in the impact. Oopsy. Thankfully no pieces were harmed in this act of clumsiness.

All good jogsawers know you start with the frame.

Getting there...

And we're done! Let me just say that basket down at the  bottom was ridiculously hard.

I got to spend some time round at the home of the Duke and Duchess of Finaghy. As any good host knows, after-dinner entertainment must be planned. Thankfully Nicky knew this and laid on a great game of Mullet Power Top Trumps. Makes me want to see the Royal Wedding version ever more now.

You couldn't make it up.

We also played a good old fashioned game of Boggle. Word games like this aren't my favourite, I'm just not very good at them. My words in this game were mostly made up of three letter words, like pea, lad, gin... I got a handful of four letter word (no, not that sort) and the whole game I only got one five letter word, sings. I thank you. I wasn't allowed coo, which I thought was a travesity. People coo at babies all the time. But they very generously allowed me peed, you know, I peed, you peed, he peed.

That's why it's best to just leave me to the jogsaws.

Post match analysis

TinaLostInSpace took a small break last week, ok for most of last week. I'm back on task now though. I'm sure you're delighted. Most of the roof space is tidied and stuff has gone back in (I still need to do a few blog posts about other great finds) and I must be getting into it because I've started into the spare bedroom which houses everything from NC, Singapore and since. It was also in a pretty dire state. Sure, things were in boxes, largely according to time frame and genre but there was so much in there that you couldn't easily get to anything let alone find it. I think I just came home, piled the stuff in the room and closed the door.

Anyway, the purpose of this post was to write about the weekend. It started with Mexican food and ended with watching about five episodes of Mad Men! And in between David's birthday present finally came...international rugby at Lansdowne Road, sorry the Aviva. Whatever.

So, Ireland were playing England in their last warm-up match before the World Cup. And it seems they could have done with a little bit more time to warm-up. But they're off now to New Zealand. One hopes they get it together there instead.

The match started in the customary manner with the anthems. There was a lot of flag waving.

Oi! Get yo' flag out of my face. Ra ra Ireland though.

Things didn't get off to a good start for Ireland.

 At half time we (and by 'we' I mean me) messed about taking photos. This one was the best.

Happy birthday brother!

In the second half things didn't get much better for Ireland. Or any better at all. In fact, things got worse.

That's the one that hit the post. Dammit.

It seems I have taken a photo of Jonny Wilkinson's butt.

There had been a bit of drizzle during the game, it was nothing us hardened rugby fans couldn't take. At about sixty minutes the heavens opened. Like full on downpour. I know it was at sixty minutes because I remember thinking we'd only have twenty minutes to endure of the rain.

I didn't have wet look leggings on, I had the real deal.

I can't really explain how heavy the shower was. At one point David asked whether there was someone behind us with a bucket of water. That was a not altogether unreasonable question.

My seat mates all left. They're not hardcore like us, you see.

Here's a little known fact stadium architecture fans: that roof is painted on.

What's that you say, push the button halfway down to focus? That was nearly a super photo. Nearly.

 At home I watched the highlights of the match and was excited to see that made it to the TV.

It is us. Honestly.

So Ireland lost, but I'm still chalking the day up to a success. I didn't run down the street to get a free condom. Not that I would do that ever. Ok, once, once I did that. Shut up.

31st International Tina Day

While we're still in the prettiest month of the year, I thought I should tell you about the prettiest day of the year - 22nd July.

As I mentioned before, I went to Dublin. But first of all I got to go to the Transport Museum with John and Kiera. Karen and David came too. They won't mind me saying they're less exciting than John and Kiera. John was hilarious, he was in wide eyed wonderment looking at all the trains, buses and cars. And he even had a new mode of transport to learn - the tram. It's tricky to learn the difference between a tram and a bus when you're only two. Kiera was as smiley as she ever is. She likes being wherever her people are.

After the afternoon there, it was straight to pick up Karen and Lynsey and head to Dublin. I've said it before and I'll say it again, there's no finer place to bypass than Newry. I love that road, you don't even have to set eyes on Newry!

After arriving at Chez Jools (and it should be pointed out his directions were tip top) we headed into the city to get dinner and maybe a few cocktails. 

Oh we do like a laugh.

The next morning we were up and at 'em. Well not quite. We headed back into to wander, eat and be cultured and I think all three aims were successful for we wandered, ate and became more cultured. 

Eating at stop 1 and who should be beside us. Only Lloyd Langford. What?! He's a stand up comedian! I've seen him on the television and everything. You can go here for a You Tube video of him (I can't embed it). He might have seen me take a photo of him. Oopsy. I'm not a very subtle person.

You can just breathe in Dublin and get some culture. Or look at these folks who were filming some sort of music video while pretending to play their instruments.

Some wandering required a pit stop in the park.

Lloyd Langford was in town for the Comedy Festival. We got tickets for Whose Line Is is Anyway? with Steve Frost, Phil Juiptus and Josie 'the legend' Lawrence. My cheeks hurt from laughing.

Afterwards we all went for dinner. Our table was bigger than this photo would make it seem.

So after that, it was time to return north so Karen could work the next day! But suffice to say the 31st International Tina Day was fantastic. 

Silver Blizzard adventures

I might have mentioned before that I got a new bike for my birthday! I know, ever the 9 year old. It's fun to go places on your bike, especially in the great summer weather we've been having. I thought a bike would be better for my knee than running. I can actually hear it creek when I get up! It's quite disturbing, although not painful (however more on that later). I have taken to taking pictures from where I end up cycling to on my bike. Which is lucky, because now I can post them on here!

This is from my first cycle to Brown's Bay in about fifteen years. This was taken on the saddest day of the year, 23rd July, but the weather made a special effort and it was actually quite good! Self-timer shots are tricky, and I was annoyed that I cut my front wheel off in the photo, so I thought I'd try again.

And got this one of me running into position. I think my phone slipped and it took extra, valuable seconds to put it up again. Not be deterred, I tried again.

Yeah, so the wheel cut off isn't that bad afterall.

I went another day, more cloudy, but better self-timer skills.

Florescent colours are the only way to go on bike.

I cycled to Carrick one day. It was not as bad a cycle as I feared, with the busy main road and all that, but just as I was coming into the town at a set of traffic lights, a big cement mixer went past me. It's weird you'd think you'd hear something that big coming behind you, but maybe because of all the other traffic noise I didn't. I promise he did not move out one inch from his usual place in the road and with the shock, the noise and the wind from him passing I nearly died. I was able to recover enough to display my feelings to him. That's right I...shook my fist at him. I may have sworn too, but he wouldn't have heard that. The people at the bus stop however were left in no uncertain terms as to how I felt.

The traffic light incident didn't stop a beautiful self-timer shot at the Castle though.

On days when the weather isn't great/I can't go far/I can't be bothered I usually cycle up to the cemetery. 

Sure, it's not as picturesque, but I still took a photo.

My biggest cycle to date has been all the way into Belfast! I was so please I made it! The weather was amazing that day. I actually got tan lines on my legs! 

I think the most surprising thing was that it only took an hour to do. It takes 30 minutes in the car! I can see now the appeal of cycling in rush hour.

I cycled along that footpath/cycle path and into Duncrue. It was weird to be as close as this to cars travelling at 70mph and nothing but a bit of wire fence between us. Woooommmppphhhhh! The bit from Whiteabbey on was easily the best bit of it all. It nearly reminded me of East Coast Park in Singapore. Without the acres of park, big jumbo jets landing at the airport and dozens of big tankers in the sea. Well I said nearly.

The next day the weather was still great so out again I went.

Brown's Bay was packed out, packed out I tell you!

There's always some idiot that reckons he's in a 90s Brit Pop music video.

While I was out I noticed that my left knee was a bit sore. That evening it got much worse. And the next day was pure pain. Apparently this can be common when you start cycling a lot. And that weekend I definitely cycled more than my average mileage. So I've put it down to that. I haven't been out since because I've had the cold, but now my knee is better and my sneezes have stopped I think I'll try to get out again soon. Definitely before the summer is out I want to go up the Antrim Coast. Might get the train to Larne though.

So that's June then

Already July. This passing of time gets me everytime. Here we are in July I have have still to mention all the excitements of June. We'll start with Mellissa and Sarah coming to visit me.

I love having friends all over the world, it's all the more exciting when they come to visit you! You'll of course remember Mellissa and Sarah as part of the Greenville crowd. Mellissa is the one that looks like me (except that she doesn't!) and Sarah, well Sarah is a Southern Belle.

They were doing a tour of the UK stopped across. I made another attempt at directing myself down south to pick them up from the boat in Dun Laoghaire. My word, all that EU money and not a penny spent on a road signs. There would be a road sign, yes one, singular sign and then nothing. NOTHING. So I was left with nothing but my own internal sat nav; head for the sea, keep it on the left and keep driving til you see a big boat. Thankfully it worked. And I was only half an hour late for them.

We drove North fairly swiftish. First stop was the Belfast Tour Bus.

Right after the tour, they both needed to go to the bathroom and suggested, as you would McDonalds. Except that here McDonalds really aren't the public convenience of choice like they are in America. I made them walk all the way down to the Welcome Centre only to discover they were closed so instead had to go back to McDonalds. This did bring about the funniest sight of the day though, Sarah flushing the toilet with her foot.

Anyone done the Belfast tour? This was my first time and I can't say I would be rushing back. The bus was jam packed with tourists from all over, but the tour guide kept on making in jokes. For instance, passing the Grand Opera House he talked about the acoustics and asked what they were. This American lady started to answer, as you would expect talking about sound waves. He cut her off and said 'no, it's what a Ballymena man prods a cow with'. Ho ho. I'm fairly sure nobody else got it except me but don't worry I didn't laugh.

The other thing about it was that he would only tell us two things about things we passed, how much they cost or when they were blown up. It didn't matter what it was, the Odyssey, Victoria Square, the railings outside the Royal Victoria Hospital, he'd tell us. Or make some ill-advised joke about the troubles. Oh move on already.

That said, I did learn some interesting facts about Belfast. Such as the tunnel they are building on the Westlink at Boucher Road is technically not a tunnel. It is 11 feet too short so it's an underpass. I feel enlightened. 

We also went to the dome of Victoria Square, the Belfast wheel and ate in Crown. Us? Tourists? Non!

The next day we headed where all good NI tourists go, the North Coast. We managed to stay away from the rain which was a triumph seeing as we were outside most of the day at the Rope Bridge and the Giant's Causeway.

.

It was a mite windy.

Mellissa was much more impressed by the Rope Bridge. I know! Thousands of basalt hexagonal column rocks just didn't do it for her. And so, she is no longer welcome our fine country. Actually much like me really, not fussed either really.

Looking out over the grand vista.

We had a good chuckle at the woman clambering over the rocks in these babies though.

I know this looks like tarmac and it is, but she was down on the rocks too in them. Last reports indicated she made it without breaking her neck.

We made a quick stop in Carrick Castle before heading out that night. We got there just before they closed so the woman didn't make us pay.

The next day the girls were heading back so rather than take my life in my hands again and drive down south, we took the train. We had an alright day in Dublin. I have decided that I think it's overrated, overcrowded and dirty. But I did learn another interesting fact. The lion that roars on the MGM ident was born in Dublin Zoo. Who knew?!

We were there the day of the Lisbon vote (now there's a puzzler, what will they do next?). If I hadn't cut the top of the billboard off, the lamp post wasn't there and it had been a brighter day this surely would have been on the front cover of the Independent or something.

So that's that. Still to come are London trips 1, 2, and 3.

Summer sun

I was driving home there and thought I should write a blog and now that I've come on I can't remember what I was going to say. So no doubt this'll be another random collection of the innards of my brain.

- We played Rounders last night with YF. So much fun. It's been a while since I did that, but some things never change, arguments and cheating a plenty, all in Christian love mind you. Our team came back from 21-6 down to win it 28-26. Quite a turnaround!

- I went into town last week for the first time in forever! And finally made it to Victoria Square. I agree with everyone else, it is freezing and you don't feel like you are in Belfast.

- I am getting into 'I'd Do Anything'. This is really my first look at one of these shows. I think my mum sent me a DVD of early Maria one, but I didn't see any of the Joseph one. I think I want Jodie to win. Or maybe Rachel. Jessie is alright, but I think Samantha is totally forgettable. They all love her though so what do I know. But I think the real question is how is Andrew Lloyd Webber not gay? Seriously.

- May 08's playlist has been made. Here's this month's well read selection:

1. Tenderness on the Block - Shawn Colvin (This is the song at the end of Sliding Doors but tragically not on the soundtrack. This is Shawn's effort which isn't as good as the one on the film but I can't find it anywhere.)

2. Heartbeat - Scouting for Girls (Love, love, love Scouting for Girls. Couldn't pick them out of an identity parade.)

3. Violet Hill - Coldplay (Probably only on here cos it was free, but I do quite like it.)

4. Feeling a Moment - Feeder (This is used all the time in TV shows. It was played at the end of the FA Cup on Saturday in the stadium and you could hear all through the interviews so it put it in my head.)

5. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan (Christmas songs are best at other time of the year, everyone knows that. This is one I heard in America a lot. Totally worth You Tubing it. Apparently they were just messing around, which goes some way to explain why Sarah, dear love her, keeps singing at the end. Genius though.)

- I have a new skill, although I doubt it's one that I can really put on my CV. I can recite all 50 US states in alphabetical order. What can I say, exam invigilation leaves you with a lot of time and not a lot of thoughts. I'd like to prove it to you but you'd just think I pasted them in, so you perhaps can test me next time you see me, see if I've still got it.

- Despite this, a similar attempt at Irish counties (in any order) failed well short of 32.

- Maybe this explains, in part, why I get at least one student a week asking me if I am American.

- The sunny weather has brought out my summer wardrobe, which is now pretty extensive. But last week I found a Day Tripper ticket for Sydney in a pocket. It made me want to cry. I miss being in exciting places.

- That said, I was sitting at City Hall eating my sushi (I know! Check me out, salads and sushi now!) I decided Belfast isn't half bad.

See.

We've come a long long way together

It's been a while since I was on here. But I have a job. A job that keeps me busy so I hope you can understand and find your dossing on tinternet elsewhere. But today I thought I'd make a special effort because it's been exactly ten years since the Good Friday Agreement was made. 

Ten years?! My goodness, doesn't time fly when you're...nevermind. I remember it. Kind of. It was the day after our school formal and I remember the news was on all day with live reports from outside Stormont and the like. I honestly don't think I really understood what it was all about, there were always talks, talks about talks and declarations around. But nothing ever seemed to actually happen.

Even a quick look in my politics file from school is revealing. We had to keep a Political Diary. It was brilliant way to doss around the first 10 minutes or so of the lesson as we discussed the news of the day. I remember coming back from Easter and everyone laughing because we were saying that 'nothing really happened'. All I've got written down in my Political Diary is 'Stormont Agreement is reached'. (Didn't even get the name right!)

Today, coincidentally, I was teaching the Good Friday Agreement. I handed out the very document they agreed on. The moment was not lost on me. 

Of course there has been a lot packed in to the ten years, and no one has forgotten yet that for the best part of them there was no Assembly. 

But you've got to say that it's a whole lot better than it was.

Tomorrow cannot be Monday already

I have to go back to school tomorrow. I object to this. Especially as I have the cold and Ireland are playing rugby way too late tonight for me to watch.

I realise I have hardly said anything about Ruth and Mark being here or the cruise, but it'll come. So in the meantime I'll talk about the netball.

I went back on Saturday to watch them in the 3rd place play off and they had seemed so chuffed with the first banner I thought it would be disappointing not to have another.


Bigger and on colour paper. No expense spared.

The game was against Sri Lanka. They had beaten NI in the round robin stage 55-50 so there was real pressure. But thankfully (and I put a lot of credit on the banners!) they were able to maintain possession and stop the big tall Sri Lankan Goal Shooter from getting the ball too much. (Seriously, watch the video, she's huge! Sorry about the crap quality, You Tube was the only way I could get it on.)

I was talking to somebody (who shall remain nameless) at the weekend who didn't know what netball was. I described it as like basketball but with 7 people and that you couldn't run with the ball. They replied and said 'so basketball without the athleticism then?' Ha!

The final score was 61-51 to NI. Ya ho! Now, again, without wanting to overstate it, NI hadn't won a match until I showed up, banners in tow. They ended up coming third!

Eighth man, I keep telling you.

Stand up for the Ulster Girls!

Tonight was crucial for NI to make it through to the 3rd place playoffs and so I was pleased that I showed up as their sole supporter (wearing my greenest t-shirt and greenish eye shadow!)


I hoped the banner would provide the team with the lift they needed.



I taped my banner up and looked on as the girls saw it. They took photos and then chanted 'we're not Australia, we're Northern Ireland. I was delighted that they seemed to get a boost from it!


After a bit of a shaky start they were on their way!




In the 3rd quarter, they finally begin to pull away and stayed there.


The glorious scoreboard! Pah Canada!


Sadly I only managed to capture the last seconds of the celebration but you can just about hear 'we're Northern Ireland'!

So I think I can now declare myself the eighth man!

Sniff

Ruth and Mark are packing now. That makes me sad.

But to cheer me up, tomorrow I am going to see the mighty Northern Ireland play...netball. Looks like they need my support.

So any thoughts on a banner for them? So far we have:

'Come on the wee girls'
'We're not Australia, we're Norn Iron'
'I'm the eighth man!'

(Ruth wants credit for the last two! I came up with the slightly patronising first one!)

Wardrobe malfunction

My first proper guests arrive tomorrow and I am so excited. Even though I have a thousand things to do for school and my house is tip, I'm so excited. You know Ruth, she comments on here once in a while. I reckon she's now one of my oldest friends (as in known the longest, she's not 80). We were in the same Science class in 2nd Year, we shared a study booth in 6th Year and I made her wedding stationery (v. stylish they were too!). One of the smartest things we ever did was to decide not to buy each other a Christmas present as there is enough expense at that time of year. Yet she is one of my best friends.

So Mark* and Ruth will be in my room whilst I move to the spare room.

However in the attempt to move my stuff to the other bedroom, I broke the wardrobe. Not badly. It wasn't a sofa cushion shrinking moment or anything. It should be a relatively easy fix. (I say this as if I am some sort of expert. Although let's not forget I am my dad's right hand girl when it comes to the old flat pack. We put together that computer-desk-cupboard-thing for my mum in a matter of...hours).

But the one sticking point right now is that I don't have a screwdriver to do it. And it being 1.00am I think I'll have to wait until tomorrow until I can get one. ('Can you believe there are no hardware stores open in the city past 1.00am?!') But unfortunately that means my tidying and swapping bedrooms has been put on hold.

So instead I am writing here and watching 'Later With Jools Holland' on BBC Entertainment. I think it must be fairly recent (as in this year) as Amy Winehouse and Muse were on. Duke Special is playing at the minute. I realise what I am about to say is about as controversial as my 'I don't really like Portrush' statement but I am 8000 safe miles away from getting mobbed so I'll take my chances and say I don't really get Duke Special. Call me 'mainstream' but he's odd. Leaving aside his appearance, he sings with a big old NI accent (and not in a Juliet Turner cute kind of way) and uses cheese graters in his songs. Hello?! Emperor's new clothes?! Am I the only one to realise you're being conned? Of course, I realise that when I come back home and am fully immersed in NI culture again, I'll eat my words and think he's the best thing since...some other fantastic NI artist with cult status.

In other news, I had an impromptu dinner party last weekend when my fridge freezer died. I didn't want to waste the food so invited people round to share in my thawed Bolagnese, Curry and Mushroom Chicken Something. Unfortunately it was too late for the Ben and Jerry's. My new fridge arrived on Wednesday and while I am excited by the turny ice cube trays, I am distressed that pizzas have to be taken out of the box to fit.

*Obviously excited he's coming too.

Back to it

I’m back in my apartment in Singapore. I can’t believe that two weeks went so fast at home, yet out here they can go so slowly. Tomorrow I’m back in school for another term. The work I brought home to do still remains undone so I will be playing catch up for the first week or so. Ah well at least I had a good four weeks off.

I didn’t take many photos while I was at home, but here are a few I did.


Having lunch on the way down to Cork. Nicky promised us a lovely park to stop at. Little did we know he meant a business park.


I had a lot of meals out, more out than in. This was hot chocolate with Pam. She insisted my area was picture and blog worthy. I don't see the problem myself.

I finally mastered (again) parallel parking. This was definitely worth taking a photo of.

Oh one more thing, my wireless now seems to work. I have no clue what is going on with it. It must somehow be configured to only work here. But how do I change that? It’s not like it was just me looking at it, I some of the finest computer minds on this and nada!

Right, work to be done. Last minute Tina strikes again!

If I didn't do things like this...

This weekend:

1. I got my flights booked and paid for. Round the world, here I come!
2. My GHDs arrived. No more bad hair days for me…not that I ever had any, ever.
3. I went to Dublin on Saturday.
4. I went to Dublin on Sunday.

Two totally separate trips. Julie, Lynsey and I went to Dublin on Saturday to go shopping to that shopping centre. It was part of my birthday present (it’s always good to drag out one’s birthday! Jud taught me that). So off we went on Saturday morning, €uro in hand. It was a class day and even though the present did not extend to buying my purchases, I got lots of nice things. The plan to start getting Christmas presents quickly went out the window (but expect to see me wearing some new clothes!)


This, believe it or not, is an Autumn Soul hoodie! I was very excited to see it (although in retrospect I don't know why, not like it was Timbuktu). So excited I took a photo, which came out blurry - I was on an escalator.

On Sunday I was head southbound once again. This time David, Karen and I were going to the rugby. The rugby giants of the Pacific Islands were in town and they thought they should take on the mighty Ireland. That was their first mistake. The second was doing this a week after super Ireland defeated Australia. Their third was timing (fair enough, probably wasn’t their fault). They never stood a chance in Ireland’s last match at Lansdowne Road for the next few years.

And so it came to pass.


'No seriously, have the ball, I insist.'


They're shoulder to shoulder, answering Ireland's call.


Number one for Paddy.


Karen and I with foam hand (see below).


During the lap of honour to say goodbye to Lansdowne the confetti was released. Très cool.

So we had to be there before lunch to get our tickets. On our way to get them we were given green foam hands. I was very excited by this. I think it might be because of the 'Gladiators' link. Anyway, after lunch we were back at the stadium, and as we were walking to our entrance David and Karen got handed something but I didn't.

Now, I feel I ought to explain my actions here carefully. I am the youngest and the youngest usually misses out on things and generally feels hard done by. Therefore I wanted the tin thing they got. But as I turned to get it from the yellow coated promotions woman she’d walked on a bit. Therefore it required a speedy step or two. As I turned to rejoin David and Karen, they were laughing at me. It was then, and only then I discovered my error. I ran up the street to get a condom.

In my defence I didn’t know what it was. Inside it could very well have been keys to a Mini Cooper or something. And then who'd look foolish for not getting one? But no, I made myself look like some Convent-taught schoolgirl who couldn’t believe her luck that they were giving condoms out on the streets to anyone at all. It was a miracle David and Karen were willing to stand with me at all after that.


But remember, as it says on the packet, total abstinence is the only way to be 100% sure of protection from STIs and pregnancy, play it safe boys and girls. [Great cartoon though. Especially his ‘feet’.]