Saying happy Christmas!

I didn't send cards this year. Thanks very much for yours (if you sent me one). Sorry if you are thinking I'm extremely rude and struck you off my list. That's not true, I didn't even have a list. So please take this instead as my card.

Nothing says "Celebrate hope, joy and love!" like posing with a giant snowman. [Photo taken by Megan.]

While my card writing efforts were poor, I did make the effort for my present gift tags. Not just a present to show I cared, oh no! They got a hand-made, original, one of a kind Tina-made gift-tag. The lucky recipients got these bad boys.

Too bad my handwriting has deteriorated so badly that the inside of the tag wasn't as pretty as the outside. That said, if there was a world record for gift tag making and speed writing, I'd really pick up points in the speed writing element.

When I was making them I realised that gift tags such as these wouldn't really be the things for Johnny and Kiera. Kiera would probably try to eat the angel, which couldn't have many benefits (although who's to know what digesting a celestial being and their glad tidings might do for you?) Johnny, on the other hand, wouldn't care two hoots for an angel on a bit of sparkly card and nice ribbon. Furthermore, they can't read, so labelling any present with their names was pointless.

So I came up with a clever plan to show who the present was for and who it was from.

Kiera is even cuter as a little elf. I'm Sant-ina!

For Johnny's one, I tried to make one of us into a snowman, but the results were disappointing, and not in the least bit snowmany.  And besides, what goes with a snowman? Santa would have to be repeated and there didn't appear to be many more options than what I ended up with, but that meant I would have to be, well, a reindeer.

Although I'd prefer it if you called me Rutolphina.

I still printed the tags on sparkly paper.

Oh come on, what was I supposed to do? I couldn't abandon all my pretty crafting principles, could I?!

Compare and contrast Children in Need with Comic Relief

A few years ago I wrote a blog about how I didn't really like Children in Need. I watched it last night. I know, I know, I've changed. But so have they; they've changed it since I wrote that. They've dropped a lot of the local element from it. Instead of cross overs to the regions with what I (accurately) described in 2005, you get a (relentless) ticker across the bottom of the screen telling you of local schools and community groups' fundraising efforts with the odd pre-recorded film specific to NI.

As I watched last night I began to think though the ways in which Children in Need and Comic Relief differ, now that the BBC regions have been reigned in. While there's a lot of similarities between the two, there's no doubt that Comic Relief is much more edgy, both in terms of the appeal films and the content of the entertainment. This edginess definitely gives it a cooler feel. Is that related to how much each night typically raises? Up until last night's record £26 million, Children in Need never really broke the £20 million on the night barrier. Comic Relief typically raises £50-60 million on the night. This year it was £74 million.

Another big difference is Comic Relief focus on Africa as well as the UK. Maybe the totals raised means we're still shocked at the starvation, illness and poverty that exists in the world today? I hope so.

Given these changes, I set to and created a handy guide to the differences and similarities between the two charities (including the Comic Relief spin-off, Sport Relief). I did it in the style of a wordle, with the larger the type meaning the more importance/greater emphasis/association it has on/with the night. The colours mean nowt, but they do make it pretty.

Of course, when you're talking differences then there's perhaps none bigger than the Wogan factor. Last night he seemed to have a dose of the Brucies. You know, not quite knowing where he was, scripted jokes, not knowing how to read the autocue, talking over Tess, that kind of thing. Still, you can't imagine it without him. Although we said that about the Eurovision too and Graham Norton is so fantastic on it I barely miss Wogan.

If you do miss the more cringy aspects of Children in Need, given their new output, please enjoy these videos from yesteryear.

(Please be warned the song will be stuck in your head all the flipping live long day, like it's stuck in mine.)

Not dissimilar to Gareth Malone's choir last night. Although they sang Avril Lavigne (or Avrille Le Vine if you're Terry - see here at 2:40.45. I thought Fearne did very well not to show laughter in her face.)

I don't even know how to explain this next one. It's from the opening of the 1992 show. It nearly hurts to watch it.

Four videos and a rant

I'll warn you right now, this post is a bit of a mix. And I'm still deciding how much of my hoarding I want to share while weighing up how bored you might get of all my reminiscing. But that's not important right now.

[Sorry the videos cut across the side bar. Hope it doesn't impede your viewing too much. And sorry the first one starts straight away. Good job they all don't. That would be video carnage.]

Video 1
So first things first, a funny cat video. Who doesn't love a funny cat video?! Not me, that's for sure. Please enjoy this offering from The Telegraph. I particularly enjoyed seeing Simba himself as a walk on extra in this one.




Video 2 and a rant
Seondly, I can't not make mention of the World Athletics Championships. You know me, I like a bit of athletics and I love the BBC which is why I was disappointed to discover than Channel 4 won the rights to the IAAF Championships. Gutted actually. I went from being excited about the Championships to, well, not. And with some justification as this second video shows, the anchorman just wasn't up to it. I think this is all from the first day and in fairness, he did get a bit better before he was 'demoted' yesterday (and by demoted I mean axed). However, asking Michael Johnson if he's ever tried the pole vault probably isn't the best line of questioning without having some indication of a cracker anecdote he has.

Anyway, try to watch it without cringing.

   

It makes me appreciate Sue Barker and the master, John Inverdale, all the more.

So now that they've lost Ortis, why is it so terrible? Well there's the adverts. I know that how the BBC works is from the licence fee and how the others work is from money from adverts. But really? Back from a break and one 400m race and back to adverts? And so help me if I see that Clio advert one more time...

And I miss Phil Jones trackside. The woman C4 have isn't very good, a bit patronising and probably because of the rush to ads, comes across abrupt with the athletes. I miss Steve Cram too. He sees things the average viewer or indeed, the camera missed.

There have been a few good things about the coverage. We don't get the little hamster, Colin Jackson, nodding along to everything Michael Johnson says (but happily still get Michael Johnson). Neither is Denise Lewis there to add in cliches. Katherine Merry is very good and Dean Macey is brilliant at the field events, mostly because of his excitement! And he called the 110m hurdles right (the tangle and why Lui Xiang hit the last hurdle) immediately afterwards which C4's actual commentator didn't see apparently. Well, can't blame him, it all happens in 13 seconds. However, keeping an eye on the two British athletes you'd think would be key for the British broadcaster of the Championships. Not so much though, as we got told 'Andy Turner finished some way down the field'. He didn't, he finished fourth and then got promoted to 3rd when Robles was disqualified. That said, Dean Macey's grammar isn't great, sorry I mean cracks me up, but I shouldn't complain. Not just anyone can do TV you know, as poor Ortis showed.

Video 3
Thirdly, a video from UTV (for which you have 23 more days to enjoy). I'm not a UTV kinda girl (see above re. BBC) but Nicky told me to watch this video. I did and I wasn't disappointed. It's pun-tastic just the way local news should be.

 
I imagine there was a lot of high fiving with the cameraman when he came up with another cow pun to include. And I particularly enjoyed the job title of 'Cow Rescue Specialist'. Apparently it's five more rescues til he gets 'Expert' status.

Video 4
Like I said, I like BBC and BBC Newsline is no exception. Donna, Noel, Jackie, they're like family to me now. Not to be outdone by their rivals they had their own animal interest story about an abandoned donkey with hooves that had grown into elf feet (I don't think that's the technical term).

I encountered donkey neglect during my Methodist publication research last year (blog posts here, here and here) because the Irish Christian Advocate used to have an advert from the USPCA or some such about it with this photo.

The advert appeared with amazing regularity. 

I'd take a few Florida Apartment or Flower Show ads any day over a Donkey Elf Feet picture.

Anyway, back to the report. Because it's the BBC I can't embed the video but the link is here. Do please enjoy it. My own highlights are:
- his name. I've said it before, animals shouldn't have human names. Johnny the donkey? Are you kidding me? The report also mentions Brian the donkey. I promise I'm not making this up.
-the 'photographer lady knowing the feet weren't right'. When you see the video I think you'll agree she is the winner of today's No Shit Sherlock Award. Congratulations to you, Photographer Lady.
- the fact that a few years ago it was 'chic' to own a donkey. Seriously? Not quite a chihuahua in a handbag, is it?

If you didn't see it live, you'll also have missed the reporter holding Johnny's cut hoof like it was the most normal thing in the world. Put me right off my Milky Bar dessert I can tell you.

Yet more exam answers

You'll not be surprised to hear that once again this year there were some cracker exam answers. Honestly, if you've never done exam marking it's hard to explain the joy, the laughter and pure frustration in getting answers like these.

Just plain wrong

Wronger than a wrong thing that's got a special reason to be wrong.

Nationalists grew to like internment.

No, no, they didn't.

By signing the Anglo-German Naval Agreement GB  allowed Germany to build up its ships to 35% of theirs. That's how they invaded Poland.

Oh you were doing so well. It was the second sentence that let you down, incase you're interested.

Hitler used his televised speeches to condemn the Weimar government and spread his actions.

Right, your general overview of history is poor. And 'spread his actions'? Actions are not like Nutella. You knew that, right?

Nationalists were angry that the first unionists were not imprisoned until February 1934.

I would have thought they were having too much fun in their time travel machine to be angry.

Civil rights protesters had placards which read 'houses in need' and sang songs like 'We shall not overcome'.

Hardly the right attitude to protest with.

There was a naval base where ships could leave or enter Omagh.

I am going to make it my life's mission to educate students that the counties of Fermanagh and Tyrone are land locked.

Eire did not undergo blackouts. This worried Britain and NI as it meant that Luftwaffe were able to see the position of Belfast and London in relation to neutral Eire.

Bit of a stretch, that.

Collective responsibility is a long time ago convention that means that everything that happens in parliament stays in parliament.

No, see what you're doing there is confusing Parliament and Vegas. And parliament and cabinet for that matter.

Think it through

Double dare you.

Chamberlain asked Hitler twice if he could help Britain out in return for NI.

Right, so let's think about that one again. 'Hitler, help us fight the war against Hitler's Germany...' Yes, see what you did there?

British RAF pilots knew the land they were flying over better than the Luftwaffe pilots so they could take advantage of the airspace.

Right, so land, air, land, air. One you can walk on, one you fly through.

Stresemann had to face difficult problems when Wilhelm formed a new government and made him the Kaiser.

Right, so remember World War One, Germany lost, the Kaiser ran away? NEW government, you said it yourself.

Direct rule meant that the Irish government was taken over and everything was handled by the British government.

Right, so remember 1922, the Free State, 1947 and independence? This all could have been sorted with one word: Northern. It's not what you wrote though, is it?

Violence increased in the summer of 1969 because this is when Britain wanted to unite with NI.

Right, so remember 1922 and NI stayed part of the UK? And the war when NI fought with Britain? Now, put all that together and tell me about 1969 again.

Facebook status syndrome

This is on the rise. I blame the Social Network.

Although people knew how to 'play the stock market' most people where normal Americans who had not got a clue.

You know, they're not the only ones who don't have a clue.

The Provisional IRA was born in December. They believed that violence was the answer to all NI's problems but they hadn't noticed they were actually making it worse.

Well with them being but an infant...

What they believed was wrong and they were blitzed by German planes.

Ah yes, to blitz. I was blitzed, you were blitzed, he was blitzed, we were blitzed, they were blitzed.

Hitler built the western wall around the Rhine to ensure it was never invaded and afterwards stated 'He who dares, wins'.

Rodders.

The Lib Dems practically threw their manifesto out the window to remain in power with the Cons.

Ah the old out the window trick, it's very common in politics.

After the hyperinflation Germany's currency was messed up.

Like, so messed up?

Unionists and nationalists didn't like direct rule because they wanted NI to be its own boss, they thought that it was stupid being ruled by another country.

I think you forgot to write 'lol' at the end of that.

The age of the understatement

Like the last shadow puppets.

Hindenberg appointed Hitler as Chancellor in 1933. Some may say it was a bad decision.

Some? Really? You're trying to sit on the fence with that one?

To be imprisoned for standing for your beliefs is unacceptable in a nationalist view.

Just out of interest, who views it as acceptable?

Dear Examiner

Alas, not actual letters, but there was an increased fear that I wouldn't be able to work out how an answer booklet works. Let me tell you, dear candidate, I didn't get to my lofty position of marking your exam paper without having to turn a page or two. 

Here are just some examples.

France? And then what? Don't leave me hanging. Oh wait, this helpful arrow tells me to continue on the opposite page. Phew.

Stresemann? What about him. Oh thank goodness. Now I know that I did indeed need to read what I just read. One continuous sentence you say?!

Well thank goodness you told me. I thought you were done.

Very polite. But I am not an idiot.

You know, the writing on the opposite page was enough to tell me to look over there. I didn't need this arrow, nor did I need it circled. But thanks.

Call that an arrow? Sure I'd hardly notice that.

Good to know. You spell it 'writing' by the way.

No, you're (w)right, you have nothing to apologise for.

Like I might have mentioned before, exam marking is stressful, boring, and pushes you to the edge in ways you thought not possible.

Methodist Newsletters of yesteryear (Part 3)

Well, I haven't heard of any of my friendships being terminated. So that either means no one knows they are here or no one minds. Or of course, maybe they're just eagerly awaiting Part 3. Well wait no more, here is it!

Of course, I liked seeing people I know, but seeing family members was best of all! Dad and David, never having worked for the Church, didn't really feature much. Mum and me on the other hand...

Spotted: Mum (in white) at NE Synod c.1986. I knew the instant I turned the page that was my mum!

Rumour has it she taught Dennis Taylor everything he needed to know about snooker.

Then I found me!

Here's me at Soul Mates Challenge. Oh, I'm not the one with yo-yo; I'm the one sitting down.

Alright, alright, here's a proper one with me.

We had problems clapping in time it seems.

I saw a few others, but they are far too recent (2007 on) to be interesting and I don't appear to be doing anything funny, such as, oh I don't know...hula hooping.

But then I struck Methodist Newsletter gold, GOLD I tell you. Right there on a front cover from 1986 was this classic.

I got told that I look like Mowgli from Jungle Book but with a broken nose from playing rugby. Trouble is, I really can't argue with that description. (Glad the awkward growing-out-the-bowl-haircut stage was documented for all of Methodism to see.)

I remember this photo being taken. It was the only time I wore that dress (this photo makes it look good which is one small mercy). Our minister came and took the photo for us. And it took ages, like an actual age and this was the best photo he took?! Like, really there wasn't one where I looked, I don't know, normal?

It was Mark (McE) who told me I look like Mowgli. But I think that was only because I had shown him this one of his family.

This makes me feel better.

Best of all was that these two photos were side by side in the bound Newsletters. It was like an early Awkward Family Photos.com.

Methodist Newsletters of yesteryear (Part 2)

Funny adverts only took my so far in my amusement writing my dissertation. The Newsletters from the Czechoslovakian farmer years onwards were full of photos. I found it practically impossible to turn a page without looking to see who was in them. More often than not I found someone I knew!

If you worked for the Church, have been on Team on Mission or received into full membership chances are there's a photo of you in there. I laughed at it and then took a picture of it (again, just my phone, no flash, please don't throw me out of the Historical Society).

In the interests of...well humour I thought I'd share some of my finds. However, this is a bit of a risky post to make. First of all if you're not that involved in the Methodist Church you might not have a clue and be bored by it all. Or if you are, you might enjoy it or more worryingly, never speak to me again.

Let's just remember that Methodists are the friends of all and I post these photos full of Christian love.

Quite the head of hair you... all have there! And nice waistcoat! And boys, what ties!

Again, all the hair!

On the plus side, they could have used this photo when your engagement was announced.

I am stunned that I had to find out from the Newsletter of your hula hooping skills. 

>insert jokes here<

I don't even know what to say.

A haircut we're more familiar with! Kind of.

Proving that he's always been a hit with the laydeez.

Who's hiding under her fringe?!

YET with two young ministers to be.

Here's one of them again!

I love the stripy trousers!

The blonde years?

These are definitely the curtain years.

Oh young love!

Just young.

You're right that is Jenny Bristow encased by Team Barclay.

I feel like I'm back at BHS where these two ruled the school. Or so they they liked to think.

Mamma S!

I don't know, I think this photo was staged.

I doubt those of at the YET & TOM celebration night will ever forget this moment. It's good the Newsletter had their photographer there.

The boys don't look that different, but I included it because it's got Sasha the Wonderdog in it!

Check out the side burns!

This is the face that goes along with his infamous prayer voice. It's very serious.

I think it's grossly unfair to have a membership photo where you actually look good!

Knock new membership gold!

Friends of all, remember?!

[Don't worry, you'll definitely enjoy Part 3. I guarantee it.]

Methodist Newsletters of yesteryear (Part 1)

I don't know what you know about what I was writing my dissertation on so I'll tell you. I had two options. One involved looking at Irish migration to North Carolina. But that might have been hard to do and I might have had to travel to NC, which I would not have minded one bit of course, but it would have dented the old finances somewhat. My other option was to do something on the Methodist Church and the political situation in Northern Ireland. A trip to the Methodist Historical Society is way cheaper than flights to NC. Although this depends on where you're coming from, I suppose.

Despite an earnest start, it took a while for me to get into it if I'm honest. Like I most students I left it to the last few months to really kick into gear. I had two big turning points and one was talking to someone very smart about Methodist history and the other was going to the Methodist Historical Society.

I ended up going there a lot. Well, when you're in the business of researching Methodist History then they're the ticket. In fact, I ended up joining. In fact, and I say this proudly, I have it on good authority I am their youngest member! Stephen McC (Dublin) has threatened to join and he would beat me by a few years, but until I see him with a membership card then I shan't believe him.

Technically speaking you don't get a membership card. You get a receipt. I might get mine laminated instead.

And you also get lots of reading material too!

I know the Methodist Historical Society gets a few rolls of the eyes and some people don't think it's...well they don't seem to like it. I think it's the lock of Wesley's hair that does it. It's hard to get excited about about a lock of hair but easy to mock those that do. But I will come out and say I am a fan of the Methodist Historical Society.

[I may not have been allowed to take these photos, so incase I get ejected from it, let's not tell them ok? In my defence, it was just my phone, no flash.]

Well, I could probably do without the busts of Wesley if I'm honest.

And these things.

And I'm not so much about the mug collection.

But the stories? Tell me the stories about the Church, tell me about the people, tell me about how we got to here and then I'm in! Furthermore, I think the way we have treated our history, heritage and artefacts is nothing short of shameful.

So if it's the stories you want to read, then there's still no place better than the Methodist Historical Society. They have the full set of Methodist periodicals - the Christian Advocate, the Irish Christian Advocate, the Methodist Newsletter. They have the Minutes of Conference, they have the Blue Book, they have it all!

I spent full days reading the newspapers and Newsletters. More from the 1960s onwards, but some of the earlier stuff too. Fascinating stuff! Like did you know they used to have Scouts on duty during Conference? Nope, me neither. The number of times I got totally sidetracked reading an article which was completely unrelated to my research...well that's why it took me so long to get started.

I found myself reading all sorts of stuff and I became familiar with the names of people. So much so that when I was a few years on and got to someone's obituary that I had once been President or something, I was genuinely shocked and sad. It was typical for my brain to say 'Aww, no! Did he die?!' Yeah, Tina, of course he did, he was born in 1885.

Of course, I did get a good laugh at some of the headlines too, like 'New kitchen in Trillick' (I promise, a genuine headline). I learned very quickly that if you're going to have a Methodist based cliche in your article, it needs to involve one of three things. I'll count them down, top ten stylee:

In at number three, hearts being strangely warmed. We like to refer to warm hearts. Allows us prove that we've Methodist blood pumping round our system.

A climber at two, 'And are we yet alive?' This is a big hit with Conference members, which is odd, because for me it could be renamed 'And have we yet found a tune?' but whatevs. No conference report is complete without emphatically answering this question. (The answer is yes, by the way. Unless it's a deep, soul-searching article in which case you ask some hard questions and restate the question at the end to really make the reader think.)

But at the top, it's a non-mover, 'Friends of all'. There is no limit to the situations we can use this phrase. Mission at home, mission overseas, ecumenical relations...if it involves people and the slightest modicum of tension us friendly Methodists are there! Heck, even I used it in the title of my dissertation. You've got to, it's the law.

The best things though about reading all these were the adverts and the photos. In the Christian Advocate and the Irish Christian Advocate it was the adverts. I took a sneaky selection for you, all from 1893.

I vote for more adverts of umbrella emporiums in the Methodist Newsletter. In fact I vote for more umbrella emporiums all round.

Yes, that is 'marvel' and 'tea pot' in the same sentence. Ah 1893 technology!

'Stories from the Indian Wigwams and Northern Camp Fires'. Book reviews sure were different.

You know, up to this point I had never given my liver's performance any consideration whatsoever. How would one know if it is 'sluggish'?

'Indigestion upsets the entire system, makes you cross, miserable, and you are sometimes unable to speak a kind word to anyone.' Isn't that just being cranky? And why would some Brandreth's sugar coated pills help this situation?

Conference was a big deal back in 1893. Although much like today, you had to prepare for it.

By donning your top hat and special cloths clerical wear, 'warranted not to glaze with wear'! Ah, if only they could see us now!

The Irish Christian Advocate offices were destroyed by a bomb in 1972 and it never recovered. Which is sad, because the detail its weekly publication covered is immense. But fear not! The Newsletter was born!

4p? Bar-gain! Success was on its way - 'occasional' soon became monthly.

Well fancy that! Around and About used to be at the back of the Newsletter.

There weren't any photos in this style of Methodist Newsletter and the only colour was at the name. Things changed with the Czechoslovakian Farmers' Gazette format (you know, big sheets, crap print, black and white dotty photos) which ran from, like, 1982 to 1996. And I began to get more distracted by the things I was seeing.

Like this. There was actually a 'Caravan Accommodation Co-Ordinator' at Castlewellan? Seriously? Like, I know it was way smaller, but that job has got nightmare written all over it.

And this I reckon is the first ever Bobby Morrison advert in 1988. He love us long time! No sister staple ad for the Florida apartment in this edition though. Johnny-Come-Lately.

But like I said, there were photos too. And they're what really distracted me...