We came out of the plush bathroom at the top of Peak 7. I don't know why the mountains are just numbers, seems a bit impersonal to me and not the most imaginative. But then I've already told you of our plans for our ski resort. I had forgotten to bring my trail map from our other days there so lifted one from a promotional stand in the hall. I tried not to look at the man by the stand, lest he make me pay for something I didn't need. Well, we've all been accosted by these types.
The next thing I knew Megann was engaged in a conversation with him because unbeknownst to me Megann also tried to pick one up but was told we'd need to share! Huh! The cheek. Then, and I'm not too sure how it happened, we had got into a conversation about owning apartments in the very building we were standing in.
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| Who lives in a place like this? |
Actually, upon reflection, a lot of it came down to Megann asking how we could get one of the Breckenridge hats that were on the table in front of him. Next thing we knew, despite being told we'd have to share trail maps, we were we were being handed over hats and t-shirts and offered $125 for taking a tour of the facilities. Well ok then!
Louie, the man who signed us up, knew a lot. He knew that we did not have the money to be actually buying one of these timeshared apartments, he knew to tell us to lie about our income when we got up there and he knew that the currency in Ireland is the Irish dollar. Ok, he knew some stuff.
Louie told us where we needed to be, when and most importantly how we'd get our $125. Louie knew we were in it for that. And the hats. And no doubt he was rewarded in commission for getting us to go.
So at the appointed time, we were back inside and looking for where we needed to go. We couldn't find it, so we went back down to our friend Louie to ask him. He was more than helpful, and took us directly there himself. Or maybe he just wanted to be sure to give us another pep talk about our 'salaries'. We walked into the reception and we were shown where we could leave all our skiing accoutrements for the tour. Louie had told us that we wouldn't be walking round in our ski boots, instead we'd be given 'soft shoes'.
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| Turns out these sandal type affairs were the 'soft shoes'. I, for one, have never looked classier. |
We took seats on the sofa, filled out the necessary paperwork and helped ourselves to all the freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, hot chocolate, granola bars and soft drinks we thought was reasonable to take. I had 3 cookies, a cup of hot chocolate, two granola bars for the road and a can of Pepsi. Perfectly reasonable I'd say.
Clint, our tour guide (I'm sure he has a fancier title than that), met us at the sofas and took us back to his bull pen office. There we were told about the great offer that awaited us today and all that we would get if we signed up today. This took about twenty minutes - it was quite the deal and Clint liked to talk about all its advantages. In detail.
I was in the grips of a cold and after furnishing me with tissues to take on the tour and antibacterial gel for himself (evidently worried that he too would be struck down by the plague) we set off on the tour.
We were shown the grand lobby and told of its wifi capabilities, pianist and saw for ourselves the log fire that awaits when you come in from the snow. Then we were taken the indoor/outdoor aquatics area (that's the pool to you and me), the grotto (hot tub affair and sun loungers), the luxury spa (all our treatments would be free), the fitness facility (the treadmills look out to the mountains you could be walking on), the studio (you know, practice for all those dance recitals I do), the game room (arcade games and pool) and the private cinema (seats 12...in reclining armchairs).
Clint whisked us round so fast it was quite hard to take it all in. It was breathtaking. If I was to stay there, there would be a real possibility of me not wanting to ski, despite its ski in/ski out location (Clint had us well versed in the terminology).
We went up to an apartment to view it. And, like the rest of it, it was amazing. Everything was marble, solid wood or the finest Egyptian cotton. We toured round, checking out fixtures and fittings, you know, as potential buyers do. We asked intelligent questions and oohed and aahed at the right times.
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| While Clint's back was turned, Megann checked out the bed. |
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| This was one of two bathrooms (in a one bedroom apartment). |
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| The kitchen, was like Clint said it would be, 'well appointed'. Clint even showed us the slow cooker which we could start before we left for the day's skiing to come back to in the evening. How well he knows us. |
While we were looking in bedroom a genuine worry came over me of how in the world we were going to get out of this. For all his pleasantness, I had deduced the Clint drove a hard bargain and liked to make a sale and I could tell we were going to have to work for all the free stuff. Like I once noticed in the National Cathedral, there's no such thing as a free cookie.
As we walked back to the office, the funniest bit of the whole escapade took place. Clint had been keen to know of our other ski trips and asked where we had stayed. We told him, aside from two places, we stay with friends. "Bummer" he said (or words to that effect), not quite understanding the amazing hook up with have there. He asked where we had stayed at these resorts, "Were they rooms or suites?" Megann answered, in complete truthfulness, that in Steamboat we had stayed in a suite. I'm pretty sure that the Bunny Ears Motel, Suite 400 was not what Clint was imagining, yet it made us sound so grand. This thought must have crossed Megann's mind because seconds later she had burst into a fit of laughter and ducked behind a plant pot to regain composure.
Back in his office we talked numbers. I can't remember them all now, but it was clear neither me or Megann were going to be getting into this. But we let him say his piece, and once again go through the many advantages we'd get from signing up today. We uh-uhhed in the right places and looked thoughtfully as if to weigh up the options. Then we asked to go away and think about it some more. Megann even added she might need to call some people. Nice touch. So it must have looked quite promising for Clint.
But if there had been any doubt in his mind whatsoever that we weren't serious it was confirmed by two rookie mistakes from both Megann and me.
Megann, on leaving his office, asked him where we would get our $125 from. Well that was the whole reason we were going through the charade (that and the hats, we couldn't possibly have known about the cookies) but we were going to see about 4 people on the way out. One of them would know! I would never have made such a rookie mistake.
Oh no. I made a much bigger one. I asked the receptionist how I could get one of their Breckenridge branded thermo-cups. I had seen the pile of the them and it have a sign saying 'Refer a friend to receive more great gifts' so I asked what one would have to do to refer a friend. Don't think I wouldn't have given them a bunch of email addresses for as many Breckenridge thermo-cups as I could carry! Turns out you have to own there and give the addresses of six friends to get one cup! A mite harder than I was expecting. They'd just given us hats willy and indeed nilly!
But the thing was, Clint was standing right there! Oh die. Megann had literally just asked where we get free money, and here I was asking how I could bag a free thermo-cup! Nice one Tina. He shouted over that he'd sort us out with some if we came back to sign on the dotted line that afternoon. "Alright then, thank you" I said in my cheeriest voice possible, all the while wanting to crawl away.
So there you have it. The story of how, for a week every other year, we could own property in Colorado. When we got back home we told everyone about it and Myles, being quite fancy with numbers, worked out that it would cost around $800 us a night to stay there.
At that price, you're darn tooting you'd be sorting me out with some free thermo-cups Clint!
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