I am not without my experience of travelling and when I was coming back here I was thinking about different journeys. So here are my social rules for plane travel. Unfortunately these come from personal experience from the skies, even 15.
1. Drug all children likely to cry for the entire flight.
2. Do not push your way through the queue to board the flight. You will only end up sitting beside the person you just elbowed to beat onto the plane. There's no rush, the plane will not leave any quicker because you were first on the plane.
3. At least acknowledge the person sitting beside you, a warm smile or if you are feeling brave talk a little, for example where are you from, travelling for work or holiday but no names or personal information. This will avoid awkwardness for the rest of the flight but neither will you appear like a stalker.
4. Sit in the seat assigned on your boarding card. No switching unless with the expressed permission of the seat owner.
5. Know the boundaries – put the arm rest down.
6. Never pull the window shutter. Just because you are sitting beside the window does not mean you own it. Think of your row mates.
7. If you are the size of Geoff Capes do not block the window view by leaning forward. This is rude.
8. Never put your finished food tray on someone else’s fold down table – unless travelling with family member/friend.
9. Share any empty seat you and a fellow passenger happen to be beside. Do not hog it all to yourself, or move to exclude the other party.
10. If you are lucky enough to be in an aisle seat it is your responsibility to stay awake during the flight to give your row mates an exit route. Or at least not be grumpy if someone wakes you to get up.
11. If you are in a middle seat you must take every opportunity to get up, so when the aisle seat passenger gets up for a whizz, you do too.
12. The only excusable reason for putting your seat back is when the person in front of you puts theirs back. Unless you are at the back of a section in which case you can have your seat back for the whole journey without the slightest guilty feeling that it is someone else’s face
13. Someone collapsing on the flight and lying in the aisle for 45 minutes is not part of the in flight entertainment. Unless you are trained medical personnel and feel you can benefit the situation do not approach the scene.
14. Do not use the seat in front of you to help lift you out of your seat. They do not need you to help them feel like they are on a theme park ride. Turbulence does that all on its own.
15. If you are travelling with a baby and they poo please move immediately to the toilet to deal with the situation. If the seatbelt sign is illuminated and this is impossible do not attempt to deal with the situation in your seat using the fold down table as a baby changing table.
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