1. An automatic car will move all of its own, even when your foot is nowhere near the accelerator.
2. Americans like too much ice in their drinks. I have concluded that this is the reason for free refills. You just don’t get enough first time around.
3. I like surreptitiously taking photos with my phone far too much.
4. There’s no limit to the stupid names Americans can have, eg first names -Royce, Holman, Gay, Gipson, and Polly (for a man). Surnames – Wishmyer, Ha and Brickhouse (I wonder what she is built like?).
5. It is near impossible to accurately guess a young American’s age.
6. No matter how many times I say my name, they say it back wrong. The difference may be subtle but I know what is right and wrong.
7. The woman in the office next to me enters her office about 20 times an hour. I never see her leave it though. Has she got a secret exit door?
8. I can talk in a high pitched polite manner for an inordinate amount of time.
9. There is no such thing as buying a packet sandwich, like the kind from Boots or Tesco.
10. Being able to turn right when the traffic light is red is wrong. In fact it makes a mockery of the whole traffic light system.
11. Getting called ‘lady’ or ‘ma’am’ in shops makes me laugh out loud.
12. There may be about 70 odd channels on cable, but repeats are plentiful. I have seen various stages of the classic that is ‘The Karate Kid’ about 4 times. Incidently, I discovered the baddie (Johnnny?) is what I imagine Malfoy in the Harry Potter books to look like.
13. There are not enough speed signs on roads. This is a speeding ticket waiting to happen.
14. It turns out the burn hazard on my straightners was for good reason as my thumb is prone to touching the flicky out edge.
15. I must always ask myself if I need to go to the toilet before setting off around the lake.
16. I would win a Best Dressed Lake Junaluskan award hands down. Maybe come the summer there is just such a contest in Hicksville?
17. Different time zones make no difference to my lateness. I’m late around the world.
18. A country has no business this warm in October. I walked round the lake last night (actually I ran about 0.02miles, from little acorns…) and when I came back I was this colour. I had to turn on the air con in my room in order for my face to return to normal before setting off to get dinner.
19. When I go to get in the car and discover I am about to get in the wrong side, I can easily pretend that I am just putting my bag in.
20. However, when I go to turn out of a junction and see a school bus heading straight for me because I am on the wrong side of the road, there is no pretending (Sounds worse than it was).
21. I am as scared of the ducks which waddle around the lake as I am of pigeons in Cornmarket. I find the potential for them to fly into my face terrifying.
22. I should put down the lid of the toilet before I flush for fear that I too may be sucked away. Fierce.
23. Finally…and I really hate to put this one down…I can drive approximately half a mile without taking the handbrake off.
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